I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU TWICE

A poem by Ewan C. Forbes, written after learning our memories are not of actual events, but our recollection of events. Illustration by Aron Vellekoop León.

My favourite memories are under attack
As I’m moved from those moments one tick at a time
My mind replaces the memory with a memory of remembering

Blurred like a photocopy of a copy
The mental equivalent of well thumbed and worn
Distorted with each uncontrollable casting back of my mind

A pencil on tissue paper: thoughts push hard
In the tearing, time takes the details away from me
You are edited, exaggerated, influenced by a future you are not in

Life pulls us away from one another
And what we’re left with cannot be held or kissed
Imperfect cells replace cells as imperfect memories replace memories

Try to stop remembering while not forgetting
Attempt to slow the involuntary vandal’s rewritings
My memories are under attack and I have to save them from myself

'I Don't Want to Lose You Twice' was published in our 12th issue, The Time Issue, which has now sold out. To ensure that you never miss a future issue of the print magazine, subscribe from just £10 a year.